The Welcome Paddy Wagon

Our cow town recently held a logo contest. The slogans for the winning logos were For All Walks in Life; Small Town, Real Life and A Charming Little Town. The first weekend we moved here, my nephew and his friend came home with the odd story of being stopped by the police for playing frisbee in a deserted suburban street. They asked for a ride in the cop car and the request was denied. They asked if they hit the cop could they have a ride in the car. Their smartalecky suggestion was ignored. Later that day, we were at one of the two grocery stores in town and my nephew pointed out the policeman to me. I decided to introduce myself.
It was the wrong policeman. They all look alike. We got acquainted anyway. He, too, was from the East coast having lived in Virginia and having worked with juvenile delinquents there. He wanted to know which of the boys was with me. He wanted to know how much trouble had my nephew been in? The officer could spot a juvie from experience. Well, no trouble, none...since he's come to live with me. Then the man in blue warned me: There is nothing for the kids to do in this town, but drink, do drugs and have sex. And once you're in trouble here, everybody in the grocery store will know.
If my life was a book, the reader would recognize this as foreshadowing. If my life was a movie, scary music would start playing in the background and the popcorn eaters would be urging me from the depths of their hearts: get out, get out, get out while you can. But did I speed dial my realtor?
Nooooo. I thought, What unoriginal, what unimaginative teenagers. We're different. We have library cards. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Snoqualmie, I will fear no evil. Welcome to my town: for all walks in life, real life, small town, charming little town.

Posted by cindy at March 8, 2006 05:45 PM
Comments
You should really move to Texas where the kids drink, chew tobacco, do drugs and have sex. Of course they do it better here because everything is bigger and better in Texas.
Posted by: Sharon at March 11, 2006 05:22 PM
Lovely.
It could be worse: you could have a new local gang called the Drips. They would be entirely pathetic if they hadn't just beaten a kid to death in front of his junior high school.
Posted by: Calamity Jane at April 11, 2006 06:00 AM
Oh, and Aunt Sharon, your subtle hints are cracking me up!
Posted by: Calamity Jane at April 11, 2006 06:00 AM
Again, mucus escapes quickly through my nose at reading, and re-contemplating, "library cards. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Snoqualmie, I will fear no evil."
Posted by: john at June 25